Nostalgia just brushed me across the face
In the form of a chilly fall breeze
Suddenly back in the shoes of my 14-year-old self
Carefree and excited just because
Walking shaggy, red leash in hand
Being tugged up the long silent neighborhood road, playfully
On a cool fall evening
Flip me upside down
I don’t care
Take my money
Have the shirt off my back, my underwear
Are you done?
I’m unsure of where this is going
Do you have what you need?
Shake me for loose change
No matter what you ask, I can’t change
I hear someone calling
Panic at the disco, maniacs keep brawling
Bitches keep wailing
All this smoke, I keep enhaling
Silly silly goose, mama let you on the loose
Got nothing to prove, but you idolize Van Halen
Release me so I can sail again
Dance, I just want to prance across this sinking ship
Rocking through a purple haze trip
Barking cats and sparkling whips
I have no idea where I am…
Slowly the revelation hits
Lovely egotistic illusions waning
And the compassion churns inside
Got me feeling
Things I try to deny
Things I try to hide
Like a butterfly with a stressed wing
I’m trying to fly
Like turbulent waves
I can’t sit quietly
And watch the seconds turn into days
How dare we attempt to just lay and watch it pass us by…
I awake early in the morning
Before dawn, just to listen
To my breath, and the light vibrations of my heart
To warm your side of the bed…
I’m awake, to hear the motor of my freezer running, and the drips from the bathroom sink
The ticking clock…
To take cold comfort in the dark, stark naked
Then quickly bundle up in my soft blanket and crisp sheet
To feel the presence of my cat watching me from afar, my feline guardian
He’ll be the one to love me the most
I awake early just to hear the city outside my window finally sleep
And to be the first to witness the jungle’s rise
Caught me crying in the corner
Caught up in my feelings
I’m all up in my feelings
Screaming at the ceiling
I thought you loved me
So why did you let me go?
I thought you were sorry, honey
So where is the show?
Caught me in tears, erratic
I’m so damn dramatic
Love is sick, it’s problematic
I can barely speak
Gasping for second chances
I forgot we’ve already had 4-6 dances
The roof is on fire, burning oak
I’m overheating, bleeding hearts will make you croak
Should just run my sorry a$$ a hot bath
I need to soak
Caught up in my feelings
I thought you loved me, so why did you let me go?
i find places…different spaces…
tied and tangled, knotted like my Nike laces
a village underground where the songs rarely shuffle…
lyrics sound quite the same to me
but the melody…
the tune, the acoustics still bring out
a heart-felt insanity…
new experiences…not all old…not at all subdued…
more unfiltered, more unglued
a little bit of beautiful, specks of crude
sweetened awareness, shaken
by a cold-blooded brute
and i laugh and i cry…at all the contradictions
and all of the deception
drink it all down
what is bitter now, soon tastes like cherry pie
Take my hand and lead me into the fire
I struggle to feel lovely things
You branded me a liar
Sentenced to the sun, ignite my face
Scorching lava down my torso, liquid skin
Burning tongue, I can not taste
No hesitation, push me in
Drowning in a sea of flames
An inferno, scorching my name
Let the blaze swallow me whole
Embers raining from my soul
No Cecile, no receipt
The disco is calling me
Saw someone, who I can’t let be
Lets pound this tall gin n’ tea
Liquid courage slips me into the crowd
I see her face. Bass is growing loud
Bright lights pulsing through dark clouds
Kiss me please. I can’t stop this room from spinning around
So cliche for me to call out
You turn and smile
I can’t catch up. I can barely breath
You reach for my arm
I almost fall to my knees
Who are you? A love from my dreams
She’s swaying faster
We sink further, and I catch her
I’m so high, I’ve lost all sense of time
Dancing this hard should be a crime
There’s a freedom that comes with being alone
I begged for your release and now I am invisible
I am the brick walls and the sun’s rays
I no longer have a name
I am a whisper. Graffiti. A paraphrase.
I am stripped naked on a busy back alley
Even a school of bees would fail to notice the nectar in my floral scent
Then there’s the fear that comes with being alone
I can trip and fall to my demise
With no assurance that your hands will ever catch me again
But then…
What if I flew?
What if I flew?
What if I flew?
Stretch my arms and legs from out beneath me, head tilted up towards the stars
What if I flew?
I could soar to heights I’ve only dreamed of
Like an eagle…
I stare out my window
Watching a colony of people
Frolicking around the meadow
Dancing amongst the bumble bees, with honey in their springs
And air beneath their wings
They banter about, searching
Playfull ferocity
Looking for a pasture that is greener
More perfect than the last they’ve seen (It’s never green enough!)
All to lay their pretty heads
To dream up the most beautiful dream
But nothing is found
No turning back around
And soon, the town grows tired
And, the day turns dire
And everyone falls along the rotten ground…
Love Notes and Dirty Dishes 