Mr. Congeniality

They call me Mr. Congeniality. Must be because I’m so sweet. So agreeable and suitable in nature. It must be my grin and comforting smile. My full lips and deep brown eyes. My curly charcoal hair and supple raw umber skin. It must be the way I gently hold my right hand into my left, like a hospitable usher boy waiting to greet you with my sunny pleasantries. I’ll offer you this morning’s paper, and ask if you’d like your coffee black or with cream and sugar…or half and half? I’ll take your bags. How about that coat? No worries, I’ll have that bottle of Belevedere delivered to your room later this afternoon along with your usual pack of smokes. Welcome back. And, please don’t hesitate to let me know if there’s anything else I can do to make your stay more accommodating. As I show you to your suite (I’m sure you remember the routine), I’ll review the hours of operation and endless line of amenities. Also, don’t forget about your full-time access to our VIP lounge. You’d definitely want to take advantage. When we arrive, I’ll provide my award-winning room sweep and presentation. Unwind in these sophisticated surroundings: custom draperies that close with a switch of a button, King size bed with Egyptian linens, marble-topped bar, wall to wall mirrored bathroom with a glass enclosed spa-like shower, and you can’t miss this astounding view of the city’s skyline. You’ll watch in awe as if I was a flamenco dancer giving his last performance for the season. I’ll firmly shake your hand, flash that charming smile one more time just to remind you that I am your best friend for the remainder of your stay, and a flirty wink to suggest that there is a chance I could be so much more. You’ll tip me graciously, and as you escort me to the doorway, with you warm hand pressed against my lower back, you’ll give my right hip a slight squeeze… and slowly pat my bum (two times) as you pull your hand away to reach for the door knob. You’ll thank me again and promise I’ll be hearing from you later this evening. “Of course Mr. Highman, see you soon.” I exit.

And, I’ll see him soon, very soon… and I’ll be the last person he’ll see on this earth. I hope he has a glorious supper and soak up all of the fruits of his labor. Take a nice bubble bath, use all of the lavender soap, eat all of the fresh strawberries and finish off the sweet vanilla liquor. I want to taste the nectar in your last breath. When I return, he will feel good. He will feel glorious. He will feel like a king. I’ll bestow all of the love an army of whores could offer. He’ll adore me. He’ll cherish me. He’ll feel passion and enchantment. And, for a brief moment, he will believe he’s in heaven. He’ll have the greatest night of his life…right before I drown his soul in between my two clinched fists. But, right now, as I walk down this long corridor to assist my next guest, I can feel his hungry eyes follow me. He misses me already. He can’t wait to see me next. And, I can’t wait either…


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